


Our Violence - TMNT Raphael x Reader

by CatCommanderCactus



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Falling In Love, Happy Ending, He doesn’t realize he has feelings at first, Love/Hate, Protective Raphael, Rape/Non-con Elements, Raphael is a Little Shit, Reader-Insert, Violence, he isn’t the one that’s dangerous, neither does the reader, reader is angsty, use of weapons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-01-30 15:07:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21430204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatCommanderCactus/pseuds/CatCommanderCactus
Summary: After a rough day at work, you want nothing less than to deal with Raphael's rude behaviour towards you. However, things escalate faster than you'd anticipated and you end up alone in the worst situation that you could have ever imagined. How will your relationship with the red-wearing turtle evolve? And what scars will be left behind?
Relationships: Raphael/Reader
Comments: 30
Kudos: 171





	1. Lachrymal Frustrations

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! My name’s CatCommanderCactus, also known (hah) on Fanfiction.net as Primary No, and this is the first story I’ve ever published online. 
> 
> I’m a French student trying to through third year of English degree and therefore wrote this in a rush that probably doesn’t make a whole of sense - please forgive me in advance for the mistakes you will find, and if you feel like pointing them out to me, I’d be more than happy and honored to follow your suggestions and correct them!
> 
> Enjoy this silly little fantasy of mine, and feel free to offer criticism, it’s always welcome! (ㆁᴗㆁ✿)

Raphael wasn't a very calm person, that was one of the most obvious things in the world. So when you see that he is losing his patience, it is fairly obvious that the best thing to do is just ignore him, let him hit something to avoid being the punching bag yourself.

That was something that you, dear _, seemed to have forgotten, and the price that you paid was the unwanted reward for that.

You see, when you woke up this morning, you felt like it would be one hell of a bad, horrible, cruel day.

You first started by waking up late, your phone seemingly having forgotten that you had to rise up early because your boss wanted you to help her. You ended up leaving your house in a hurry, your hair a disaster, your stomach empty and chewing some gums packed in your back pockets in order to keep your breath fresh.

In your rush, you lost your metro ticket, missed the metro, had to run to your office and still got grounded by a very angry boss of yours.

The rest of the day had been a disaster, and you were sent home early because you kept on failing everything.

When you got back home, you thought that paying a visit to your friends the turtles would have been a good idea. Maybe Michelangelo could lift up your spirits by playing a game with you, and if you were lucky, Raph wouldn't look at you like you were some munched chewing gum stuck under his ... whatever you call turtles' feet.

But boy were you wrong.

Mikey was already playing on the old game stations with Casey Jones when you got in the lair, and April was discussing with Donatello in his tech room while Leonardo seemed to be meditating, humming to himself like the perfect copy of Splinter he could be. That only left you alone with Raphael that was training in the room.

You said hi to the guys, who all responded in their own personal way. But as you glanced up towards the red bandana wearing turtle, you met a pair of cold green eyes that stared at you, and had to look back to the ground.

Nobody knew why Raphael hated you so much, you never really talked, and the only time when you did he kept on making remarks about how unnecessary your presence was.

Remembering your conversations put your spirits down (if it was even possible anymore) and you simply sat on the edge of the couch, silently watching Mikey and Casey play, talk, pinch each other to try to distract their adversary and basically be the kids they truly were deep down despite their adulthood now finally reached.

Your attention was attracted by a grunt coming from Raph, as he tried to perform some sort of attack in the air but kept landing on his wrong foot.

You, being enerved by that, suddenly spat out without thinking:

"You really like to look ridiculous, don't you?"

Silence fell down upon the room in the second that followed while you realised what you had just muttered.

His form slowly turned towards you, his grip on his sais getting stronger with each of his intakes, shoulders so large they blocked your vision.

"...What?"

Your heart was beating like crazy in your chest and you were pretty sure that even Master Splinter could hear it from his room. You felt adrenaline rise up to the beating organ, giving you a new-found courage that you knew you would regret.

"I said...you really like to look ridiculous, right? I mean, you're always trying to show off your muscles when everybody's in the room... You like to lift, we get it, no need to be such an attention who-".

You stopped yourself from speaking more as you realised what you were about to say.

You couldn't have finished your sentence anyway because the second after, you were pinned against a wall by a strong hand, that was followed by the angriest glare you had ever seen.

Leo quickly appeared behind Raphael and yanked him off of you, your body landing on hard ground.

"What do you think you're doing?!

-Shut your mouth Leo! She's the one who said I was ridiculous!"

Leo turned towards you to ask if his brother was right, but you were already gone in the sewers, fast on your feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters belong to their rightful owners, Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, and the Main Character belongs to you!


	2. Bloody Struggle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second chapter of my fanfic! Everything has been pre-written in advance up until the fifth chapter - please do not mind, however, the many mistakes that are there and the varying length of them. They were all written a long time ago and were never proof-read up until now so a lot of errors are going to be present!
> 
> On a side note I am SO happy to see that this story already has kuddos - I never expected it to be read by anyone other than myself, so thank you so much, I am incredibly touched and grateful (⺣◡⺣)♡
> 
> DISCLAIMER: This story contains VIOLENCE, NON-CON RAPE, ANGST and SEVERE INJURIES. Please proceed with caution.
> 
> Feel free to leave a comment if you have enjoyed it and/or want to offer criticism, it's always welcome! Take care friends! ╰( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ── *:・ﾟ

You ran in the dark and empty streets of New York, your small purse clutched against your chest.

Your feet seemed to flee you home as the adrenaline in your systems was leading you in the dark alleys, and when you reached your appartment's door, the fear that made that run possible started to change into relief. You were safe at home ... for the moment.

What happened back there? You weren't sure yourself, just that this day had gone horribly wrong and that Raphael's general attitude towards you was not welcome, not today.

You closed the bathroom door behind you and stripped out of your clothes, a dark bruise already forming on your neck, right where the turtle had grabbed you. You winced upon touching it and took some medicine to ease the pain before changing into your pajamas and calling it a day. But you could still feel the dry, leather like palm against your skin, crushing your esophagus, your breath, your incredibly small chances of having fun in the only place where you once could find relief.

Once you were laying on your bed, you felt guilt slowly invading your chest, making your heart ache in sour throbs. Okay, maybe what you said was completly irrelevant and he had done nothing wrong. Maybe you shouldn't have said that. What if he started hating you from now on?

You stopped your train of thoughts at that point.

1: Since when did you care about his opinion on the matter?

2: He already hated you anyway, that outburst earlier changed nothing in your dead relationship.

But your first question truly bothered you. His hatred towards you was unexplained and started at the very first moment you met, it wasn't new. It wasn't unexpected. It never seemed to have been anything else. Your eyes slightly widened.

Something just seemed to... click into your brain, like a loading screen finally getting cleared.

You had always cared about his opinion. Always.

Because of his nasty attitude, he was the one who took all of your interest, and he usually was the person to whom your eyes were attracted to. You desesperatly wanted to know if there was more than just the constant growls, to the point where you grew more and more attached to him in a painful way that resulted in bitter insults.

You rolled in your bed sheets.

This day couldn't get any worst.

.

.

.

You opened your tired eyes on your phone. 4 am. You hadn't managed to get a proper night of sleep in a good month now, your newly found affection eating away the tiredness and letting guilt devour your soul as the hours ticked by in the bat of an eyelash.

Deciding that you had enough of trying to feel relief, you rose from your bed and grabbed a bowl of cereals, munching the pieces of sugar, flour and food coloring mixed together without hunger. You had lost your appetite and most of your energy because of your lack of sleep, and hadn't come back to the lair since that terrible day where you doomed yourself.

April and Casey called you on a regular basis, worried about your state of mind. Mickey basically spammed your texts too, and you even received a call from Leo himself, once. The leader tried to convince you to come visit them, but you excused yourself by pretending that you had a lot of work.

That was a blablant lie. Your boss saw how miserable you looked and gave you a "three weeks much needed" break after a week of you bumping into walls and printing the wrong papers, making sure that one of her best workers stayed safely at home instead than ruining her health. It may have been tiring at times, but you really had the best job in the world.

The cashier thanked you while handing you your change and your bag full of food that you would probably just throw away sooner or later. You offered her a weak smile, the dark circles around your eyes and your pale skin revealing your pitiful state. Not that you cared anyway.

The late nights in New York City were always cold and unwelcome, and your loose band tee-shirt did nothing to stop the wind from hugging your shivering form. You searched in your bag and pulled out a small hand warmer that you heated up rather quickly to warm you up.

Just as you started to walk on a much thinner road with very few lights, you felt a hand grip your arm and pull you towards an even darker and slimer alleyway.

"Seriously? That's very clich-..."

A taser pressed against the skin of your neck and you shut your mouth almost instantly.

In front of you stood a dark figure that smelled like old cigar and bleach, a combination that made you gag in silence. A rough, calloused hand began to slide down your left shoulder and slide over your breast, grabbing it in a painful grip. You squinted your eyes shut in disgust and wished that you could have kicked him right in the nuts, but the taser was there.

His hand released your already bruising breast to grab your waist and go under your pants. You tried to wiggle, but his thumb caressed the trigger button of the weapon and you froze upon hearing the very faint sound of the mechanism ready to activate itself inside.

He slid a finger over your underwear and you felt the violent urge to puke on this man. Remembering what you once heard on the television, you tried to think about happy things to make the whole situation a bit brighter.

A sudden flashback of Raph and Mikey interacting crossed your mind. You had just entered in the lair after a hot day and happened to fall in the middle of a discussion between the red and the orange bandana wearing turtles.

"Bro?

-Yeah?

-What would you do if the Foot captured you and you had no way to escape the room because they have a super plan for everything that you try?

-Now where do you go and find these stupid questions?

-Just answer dude!

-Well... lemme tell you, no matter what, I ain't going down without a fight. Don't care if they have a "super plan" or anything. I'm ready to die if it means that I'll keep my pride."

You contemplated his words, tears starting to leak from your eyes upon remembering how proud he seemed to say that to his brother. He was right. You wouldn't let that creep rape you right here, in a dark cliché street. Not when you were a friend of the turtles.

You felt him push you down towards the ground while he unzipped his pants, and you knew what to do next. Just as he placed his junk in front of your mouth, you advanced your head...and bit with all of your might on the flesh in front of you.

The man let out a furious scream and releases the taser off your neck.

That was it! You hurriedly got up and ran towards the beginning of the alleyway, your bag of food tightly secured in your hands...

Until a brutal pain hit you in the back and sent you almost unconscious on the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters belong to their rightful owners, Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, and the Main Character belongs to you!


	3. Wet Despair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning/day/evening/night! Here is the third chapter, as promised. It's a lot shorter than the first two, but it's more of a bridge towards the rest of the story so I couldn't manage to make it longer. I am terribly sorry about that, and I hope that the rest of the story will be more interesting!
> 
> DISCLAIMER: This story contains VIOLENCE, NON-CON RAPE, ANGST and SEVERE INJURIES. Please proceed with caution.
> 
> Enjoyyy, and as always, feel free to leave a review, it's always appreciated! (*´∀`*)

From your blurred, teary vision, you could barely see a pair of feet coming closer to you before a striking pain sent you wheezing for a few seconds. Salty tears built up in your eyes and silently slid down your pale cheeks as the horrendous man hit you again in your ribcage; a sick, twisted grin on his face everytime you let out a plead for mercy. Your voice sounded wrong in your throat but you tried your best to keep it from spilling out about how painful his beating was, a single image forming in your mind: the one of a dark green skinned, red wearing mutant ninja turtle with emerald eyes and a sharp-toothed grin full of pride. Ah, yes, you thought as you felt some of your clothes slipping away from your body, you still had to apologize to this stupid idiot that you had ended up loving more and more without even fully realizing it.

Just as a dirty hand suddenly grabbed your breast’s side, a crunching sound was heard and all traces of weight on you vanished in the blink on an instant. A few shouted words were heard here and there around you but your mind couldn't focus on anything, all of your adrenaline having left your brain, and you braced yourself for the pain that was to come instead, crashing on you like a wave.

You could hear someone barking what sounded like orders and thuds in some distant background but nothing that could help you understand the situation has your brain seemed filled with cotton. Grogginess was starting to overcome your senses, so much that you couldn't handle the mere idea of thinking, and therefore not completely realizing what was happening in the background - just the hard, dry clutching of your muscles every time you tried to move and the twitches of your flesh that was still under the effects of the electrical shock you'd received.

A desperate gasp of pain left your throat like a whimper as strong arms rose you from the cold ground where you laid, half covered in clothes, your skin already tainting in hues of blue and purple from the hits that you took. No energy came to you when you wanted to see who your supposed savior was, the only feeling left inside of your core being the blood rushing to your head as your body limped like a ragdoll in arms that carried you in places that you couldn't remember seeing before, the wind hitting your face and making your hair fly all over the place. Had the turtles saved you, or was it someone else? You couldn't care right now.

Whoever was carrying you could do whatever they wanted to you. You didn't seem to care, or perhaps you truly didn't. All hope for safety had flown out of the window of your soul the moment you'd felt the taser’s strings connect with your body through your clothes. However, you couldn't help but notice, in a feverish effort to discern your « savior », that they smelled like the strange white chalk that the turtles put on their hands and feet whenever they were sparring, with the subtle fragrance of a musc infused perfume mixed onto it.

Your tears were drying on your cheeks as wind slapped you and you took that as a sign to close your eyes, letting sleep finally take away the pain in your body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of the characters belong to their rightful owners, Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, and the Main Character belongs to you!


	4. Painful Awakenings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fourth chapter! A little longer than the previous one (I apologize once again for the length of it), and with some progress on dear Reader's situation. It is filled with angst, but I promise that soon enough it'll get happy! Or will it...? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> Once again, please feel free to leave reviews, it's highly appreciated!
> 
> DISCLAIMER: This story contains VIOLENCE, NON-CON RAPE, ANGST and SEVERE INJURIES. Please proceed with caution.

The first sound that you emitted when you felt like you were regaining consciousness was a groan. A sleepy, somewhat quiet groan of someone that refused to leave their bed for school. It was a familiar sound, one you'd produced many times before in the past month, and you were glad to find it back into your life.

As if everything was normal! You would wake up in your bed to the sound of the busy streets, smell the toasts your neighbor had made and feel the sun on your skin!

But there was no sun, and there were no toasts.

Your eyes shot up and then closed instantly when you felt the sting of the neon lights burn your retinas. The groan that followed wasn't quite the same as your first one.

"...ake...!"

A distant voice made you wince some more, a throbbing pain following it behind your skull, and everything around seemed to be ringing in painful noise. Where were you? And what happened? You couldn't remember a thing. You were just tired, in pain, and those damned voice just wouldn't shut up.

"Hey there, shhh no don't move too much, you're alright, it's okay."

Vision. You could see again, this time opening your eyes slowly. Blurs of colors were meeting your vision, blue, purple, and the faintest touch of warmer spots far away. Shining grey things were all around you and-

"Donnie...?"

You would have winced at your own voice had you not been in pain, croaky throat and dry lips cooperating with the hardest of efforts. But you could still see and the green smile that met you was an amazing thing.

"Hello _. How are you feeling?"

"...Like shit."

Your... everything hurt, why? Your skull was a throbbing mess, your throat felt like it was aching for water, and your legs didn't quite felt awake yet.

"That's a story we'll tell you later."

You understood what he meant by that when you started to feel a lot better, after an hour of processing where your limbs were and how your senses worked. You eventually became the human you were once more and reality slapped you right in the consciousness when you remembered where you'd been and what happened.

The clock in the corner showed 2PM. You'd been out cold for the longest time, probably catching up on some of the sleep you'd been missing.

And that's when the real facts hit you. You'd been the victim of a sexual assault from which you barely escaped, and now you were back in the lair, a place you'd been wanting to avoid filled with people that you had been avoiding even harder, especially one, grumpy turtle. Thank God you hadn't seen him yet.

"-There, try walking now."

Two feet on the ground and you launched yourself upwards, surprised, but proud, to see that you didn't wobble at all. You could walk perfectly, meaning you only had one thing left to do and soon enough you would be left alone, and most of all, you would go home.

Yes. You wanted to be away from this place. You wanted to be miles away from anyone and yet, yet you knew, you needed to stay just a bit longer. Don had noticed how you'd lost weight and your skin was more grey than it's original color, making him rant about malnutrition while you listened quietly, feeling highly uncomfortable that you could feel eeryone looking at you through the walls and hearing what he was saying. Yes, you were in horrible shape. You knew that.

"I know that."

Your voice still sounded strange, but you pushed it aside.

"I'm good Donatello, don't worry. I can handle myself."

He looked at you through thick glasses, the worry on his expression, his tone, in his every gesture making your heart ache for lying to him.

"No you don't."

You could almost hear the heartbreak in it implying too many things about how much he truly worried.

You bit your lips.

7PM. Eventually you'd managed to get into the living room with a pale smile on your face as a greeting, getting pinned in a bone crushing hug by an orange wearing turtle you loved dearly and then slightly less painful embraces from your human friends. Leonardo had squeezed your shoulder and smiled back at you, seemingly glad that you were back on your two feet.

Even Splinter came to say hi and look at your dark circles and thin cheekbones with a disapproving glare, which you could only offer a sorry smile for.

But someone else was missing and never came to see how you were doing. And it broke you a bit on the inside, broke whatever was left of your hope. Silly, stupid hope. To say that you had thought he'd been the one that had saved you.

There was no way on Earth.

"You sure you're okay...?"

"Yeah. Night's not out yet and you gave me plenty of food, I'm pretty sure I'm going to gain three kilos through the night."

"..."

Donatello is staring at you with a glance that says everything about how worried he truly is, and the others behind him are holding the same expression, but in slightly less obvious ways. Spared for Mickey. Mickey looks like he's going to chew all of his nails out of his hands.

"And what about-"

"My cab's waiting, no walking, I promise. I'll give you a call when I get back home safely, okay?"

You know it's not what he wanted to ask for but it's all that you can offer him at the moment. No promise for future interactions, no spilling about the way you feel and the psychological help you need.

Just a thankful kiss on his cheek and a general wave, and you're gone. You walk through the sewers that you still know by heart, but your feet are fast, frantically sprinting on the dirty floor, and so is your breathe as you try to hold back the tears that are building up. Thank God that you went alone.

Or so you thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters belong to their rightful owners, Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, and the Main Character belongs to you!


	5. Furious Languish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning/good afternoon/good evening! I am coming back with this chapter that's slightly longer than the previous one, I hope that you will enjoy it! I am very sorry for the delay, but I hope that it will still be read nonetheless (´ε｀；)
> 
> Once again, please do remember:
> 
> DISCLAIMER: This story contains VIOLENCE, NON-CON RAPE, ANGST and SEVERE INJURIES. Please proceed with caution.
> 
> Enjoy! (˶◕‿◕˶✿)

"Are you sure that it's a good idea master Splinter?"

The old rat slowly finished his last stroke, the graceful kanji on his scroll fresh with black chinese paint. It was only when he put down his brush in its small wooden case that he turned towards his three worried sons, an old and wrinkled but happy smile on his face.

"Oh, my sons. I said that she could go home for tonight. I never said she would do so alone."

You broke into a teary mess when you reached halfway through your home, the taxi driver jumping in surprise but not saying anything about it, and got out of the vehicle with puffy red eyes and a sniffling nose. The guy refused your money, seeing that you were going through a rough time, and instead gave you a sympathic smile before driving away.

You'd rarely ever been so grateful to a stranger.

Your bed came in view as an angel in disguise and you fell on it with a sob erupting up your throat, making you cry some more. You'd almost been raped. Had it not been for the guys... You weren't even sure you would have made it out alive. The sparks of the taser were such a fresh memory you could feel it on your back where it'd hit you, and his dick, his stupid, smelly organ-

You held back a gag before it allowed your stomach to spill on the bed. Not cool. Not a good idea. You wiped away the memory before it traumatized you even more.

In your messy sniffles and paralyzed body you hadn't quite heard the sound of your window sliding open, but you did hear, with a striking precision, two footsteps on your wooden floor, just behind your back.

Your heart stopped beating for a second before you reacted and got off your bed in a flash, bedside table lamp in your hand and threatening, puffy, red, wet glare ready to take on the world.

But you didn't attack the intruder. Instead you lowered your weapon in utter confusion and slight, scratch that, intense invading panic as you looked at the dark big shape hidden in the shadows of the walls, the only clue telling you who it was being the glowing emerald eyes and the spot of red contrasting against the green of his skin.

"...Wh..."

You don't know where to start. You're so shocked your throat is dry once more and suddenly you remember the fist that was around it, that almost crushed you, that COULD have killed you in a single gesture. Your hands are shaking and you're sweating out cold. You musn't look very good.

"You look like shit."

Urgh. Here comes the reasons why you'd avoided talking to him altogether while you were still friends with everyone else.

"Thanks. You too."

You sound strangely strong for someone who's had nightmares about this exact guy breaking your heart and your neck at the same time.

He snickers, something rare you haven't seen a lot of times before while hanging out with the team, and moves so that you're both in the light now. But for every step forward he takes, you stumble back. And he doesn't stop.

Your heart's beating so madly in your ribcage you can feel it echoing throughout your entire torso and your hands are so weak they're threatening to let the lamp fall - but you hold on.

With terror and panic, yes, but you hold on.

He looks terribly confused, not that you would know, as all you can see is his usual dark angry face that he always wears whenever he looks at you.

Your back hits the wall and you could have sworn the gasp that you exhaled was louder than the way you'd heard it. He stops on his tracks immediately and lets you breathe again, your shaking form probably indicating how terrified you are.

« I'm not... », he starts, and then snickers, but it has annoyance in its tones. « I'm not here to hurt you, you dumbass. »

He even sounds a bit hurt. You don't give a shit. You're still against the wall, grateful to have something to lean on for once, and you've barely lowered your poor useless lamp. It's not even as big as his biceps, he would crush it with a single flex of his tense, large, heavy muscl-

« I came here to make sure you got home in one piece, alright? So lower that fucking lamp, it won't do shit for you anyway. Jeez you're so ungrateful- I ran all the way there, even followed that fucking cab that can't drive around for no shit, and that's how you thank me? Wow, no thanks. »

He angrily stomps back and lets himself fall down on your bed, the hinges squeaking in a hushed plead for mercy. He must weight a lot more than you ever have, no wonder the poor thing has trouble holding him up.

« ...I didn't ask you to stalk me. I'm fine. »

His eyes rolled back towards you and a single glance gets you to shut up before you can tell him to « oh so kindly fuck off ».

« Yeah, right. Look, if you ain't gonna thank me, I might as well go. Don't got no time for crybabies. »

Your blood boiled and you put the lamp on a sidetable.

« Excuse you? Crybaby?! Do you even- do you- »

Oh no here come the tears.

« I've- God fucking damnit it's all your fault to begin with! »

His posture visibly tenses up, threatening body challenging you to continue despite the obvious violence he might execute, and you actually do, your throat aching in fear.

« What the actual fuck?! My fault?! »

« Yes, your fault! You've always hated me so much, I never did anything wrong! Alright?! I never did! I've always tried to help you out, I've-... I gave my money and time to help you guys- I have a life too and I gave it away, and all I get is- »

« FUCK YOU! »

He bolts off the bed which makes you back up in utter fear and violently slams his hands against the wall where you end up crashing, legs trembling like never before and eyes watering with fear and anger while he spits at your face.

« I FUCKING SAVED YOUR ASS YOU UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT! I NEVER SHOULD HAVE! »

Your eyes widen.

His do too.

« Wait, I- »

You slip out of his sight in a second and run for your toilets, locking the door behind you right after you slam it in his face, not listening to the words he's uttering.

« GET OUT! »

It comes as a screech, voice broken and furious tears spilling.

There's silence, then a thud, and a slight noise as your window clicks shut.

You end up spending the night hunched over your toilet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters belong to their rightful owners, Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, and the Main Character belongs to you!


	6. Hopeful Realizations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! So very sorry for the delay, with winter exams coming up, my health declining and my heart being broken, I hadn’t thought of publishing the next chapter - my bad! I’ll get back to work now, I’m more than thrilled and motivated to keep the story going and end it in a few chapters, so please stay tuned for more!!
> 
> Once again, please remember that this story contains VIOLENCE, NON-CON RAPE, ANGST and SEVERE INJURIES. Please proceed with caution.
> 
> Enjoy! _(┐「ε:)_♡

The electronic clock on your wall indicated a blurry number that you didn’t want to imagine - it was probably quite late.  
The bed under your butt creaked, a reminder that it had been slightly damaged by the imposing weight that had dropped on it before, and winced a bit louder when you headed towards your fridge. The only light in your place was the one of your computer open on an email from your boss gently requesting that you come back to work by the following day or you’d be fired due to legal measures. You glanced at it for the hundredth time, frowned in displease, grabbed a fruit and headed to your bathroom.  
Slightly more than 24 hours had passed since Raphael’s delightful visit to your flat. You’d thrown up more than you could remember but eventually regained your strength and decided that turtles were from now on forever banned from this place. No, this wouldn’t do. You had to move out. Your fragile relationship with the mutants was now broken forever and you doubted that it’d ever be repaired, so you wanted to break contact with them for the rest of your life. It hurt, a lot. But it was the right decision and they probably knew that too.  
.  
.  
.  
« Oh my dear. »  
Your boss was an older woman, you’d say in her late 50s, but she had never been the severe kind of person. Instead she was an energetic and lively woman with barely a few wrinkles here and there and a bright smile that could make a depressed person reconsider life under a new angle.  
You wouldn’t see that smile today. Instead she was staring at you with her red-circled mouth covered by her shocked hand, brown eyes widened in a worried stare.  
« You look like you’ve given half of your weight to homeless people. And swapped your eyes with that of a raccoon. »  
You winced at the comparison but didn’t take it to heart, knowing she meant well despite the... strange way of expressing it.  
« Come, follow me. We’ll grab breakfast together and then we’ll come back on what I’VE missed, what you’ve missed and see what you can do, but you better not push yourself over the limit. I do NOT want to call the emergency services on a Monday. »  
The laughter that erupted from your chest was soft, a little forced, but it felt good nonetheless.  
« Yes mom. Thank you.   
\- My pleasure honey. »  
.  
.  
.  
« Oh wow. »  
Mikey rubbed the back of his neck with concern. Leonardo groaned while his shoulders slumped. Donatello quirked an eyebrow, thinking about the amount of money the damage that they were staring at would cost in the human world.  
The room where they usually reinforced their muscles was absolutely RUINED; the walls had holes in them, the ceiling looked like it was about to fall, the floor was absolutely ruined. Had there been windows in the place, they’d have been smashed by flying objects.  
« Raphael... »  
Splinter behind them had narrowed his eyes. Even the bravest of warriors would have shivered at the frozen tone of the angry voice.  
The addressed turtle turned around slowly from the shadows of the back of the room, eyes narrowed, teeth clutched shut, fists bleeding.  
« What have you done, son?   
\- I’ve trained a little harder than usual. My bad. »  
There was absolutely no apology in his tone whatsoever.  
« I send you to make sure that you and ____ are on better terms while making sure that she is safe, and this is how you return to me? This is how you thank me for offering you and your brothers a room to train as you wish?   
\- I—!!   
\- I do not want to hear your excuses. Make sure that this is repaired by tomorrow, and follow me. »  
They both retreated from the room while the rest of the turtles let them pass in silence, all of them more worried than they’d let on - the events that were unfolding since he’d fought with ___ were taking a dark turn, and not for the best. No one knew what was happening in the brute’s brain, nor what the gentle woman was thinking about, and it made reconciliation a lot harder than previously anticipated.  
« Sit down. »  
Raphael did as he was requested, but the frown engraved in his features didn’t get any lighter despite his obedience.  
« Speak. Now. »  
He rose emerald eyes at the old, firm rat in front of him, and then let his gaze drop down.  
« ... »  
There was no point in telling him that nothing was wrong. So he spoke and explained to his father what was happening: his anger swelling in his chest and never letting go no matter how many things he destroyed, the way he’d treated the young woman when he’d visited her, the way she’d behaved around him as though he was a monster.  
The incomprehension he felt when he glanced at her. The ways she pissed him off so much without valid reasons. The painful feeling he got when she looked back at him with disgust. With fear. With apprehension.  
How weirdly scared he got when he saw her lying down on the ground with bruises littering her body. How fucking angry he’d been at the guy who’d assaulted her.  
How he knew that she’d be better off without him in her life.  
All the while Splinter had listened in silence, never once betraying whatever logic he thought of while Raphael spoke with obvious confusion leading him down the wrong interpretation of his feelings.  
« Raphael. »  
His son stopped talking and finally looked up towards his father, meeting no anger whatsoever and instead a softness he didn’t understand.  
« You fear for her. You fear of her opinion, and you cannot put a word on what is animating that animalistic behavior towards her - correct?   
\- Yes.   
\- Then I would like you to close your eyes and get into meditating pose. »  
The severe glance he threw towards the turtle convinced the latter to not argue against it and then do as heordered, folding his legs in front of him and closing dark green eyelids on his soul.  
« Now, look upon your relationship with ___. Look upon the moments you’ve spent together in the past, reflect on your actions. Compare her reactions to the ones she offers to your brothers or April, watch and learn. Your fears hold a deathly grip upon your feelings: offer them the memories without judgement, and watch as they let go of their claws on your heart. Now. What do you see? »  
The blablant incomprehension on Raphael’s face melted away for a mixture of drastically different expressions, and Splinter smiled.  
« Yes. Now you see. »  
His son was out and on his feet before he could wish him good luck, but he knew that the wish was a feeble pray: luck was of no importance here, because he’d given birth to the truth of fate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters belong to their rightful owners, Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, and the Main Character belongs to you!


	7. Harsh Impatience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo guess who lost her AO3 password after she logged out two weeks ago? It’s your good ol’ fool, me!!  
I’m terribly sorry about the wait, I truly didn’t mean to postpone this for so long, but life’s a nasty jokester with me lately and I have trouble finding out solutions. Anyway, here is chapter 7 of my story, hope that you will like it and thank you once again so much for the comments that you are leaving, it’s truly heartwarming.  
Never would I have anticipated for this story to be found out and read, and for that I am incredibly thankful, although a little shy about that fact.
> 
> Keep on being awesome, you’re all beautiful souls out there!! ღゝ◡╹)ノ♡ ˖◛⁺⑅♡

« There. »  
A long nail pointed towards the screen of your computer, and your eyes followed.  
« 1 bedroom studio for rent next to Greenwitch Village, 1250 dollars a month with utilities included, not furnished, credit history required. Rental available now. »  
You quirked an eyebrow at the title before turning towards your colleague and current flatmate, her professionally contoured face shining brightly with pride, determination, and expensive golden highlighter.  
« I’m telling you, it’s perfect.  
-It’s expensive.  
-It’s available for now.  
-The security deposit is wayyy too much.  
-Girl, listen. »  
You winced as she took on her motherly voice and got ready to hear a piece of her mind. How many mothers did you have, seriously?!  
« You want to file in a lease in the middle of the month, two weeks before the beginning of December. Tourists are going to rush to New York in order to spend their holidays with their loved ones and fill their bellies with greasy hot dogs and extremely expensive pumpkin spice lattes in hipster coffee shops. And flats like this one? They’ll get rented so quickly you won’t ever find anything to live in, even in slums. So, trust me, this is as good as it’s gonna get. »  
You knew that she was right - moving out in the middle of nowhere was nearly impossible when you were a single woman working in an office, and you’d been lucky to find some places still available now.  
« Alright, I’ll send in my application today.  
-Excellent! »  
Moving out was stressing you out but there was no way you could stay in that flat of yours. Right now you were crashing at your friend’s, but it was very temporary as her fiancé didn’t seem to be too keen on sharing their couch with a stranger. It wasn’t very comfortable, but it was better than the nightmares-inducing bed currently abandoned in your bedroom. Speaking of which...  
The flat you’d selected wasn’t furnished, which meant that you had to buy a new bed. Not that you really minded as you had to do so anyway, considering how broken it was.  
Oh how you missed the turtles, and April, and even that douchebag Casey.  
It had just been five days since you’d been attacked by Raphael but it made you feel as though the separation would be harder than you’d have liked, and your phone was constantly ringing with phone calls from numbers you never dared to block. 

.  
.  
.

« She hasn’t come back.  
-Yeah, but she was online an hour ago.  
-And yet didn’t answer my texts this morning.  
-But she’s been seen at work every day. »  
A silence took place amongst the small group, everyone reaching for the same conclusion with a shared slight anxiety.  
« So she’s decided to completely break bonds with us. »  
The rough voice of Raphael made them all wince in anticipation as though they’d been wanting for him to say something of the such, and yet feared for his reaction. On that day where he’d fought with her, he’d rushed out instantly after his rampage in the training room only to come back empty handed and clearly lost for words, and ever since then, ___ hadn’t come back to her flat that was slowly getting emptier with what looked like friends of hers picking up her belongings.  
It truly hurt all of them that she’d suddenly decided to get rid of her relationships with the mutants and the couple of humans that formed the TMNT Team. But it also made them worry about her state of mind, and seeing how terrifyingly close to malnutrition she’d been when they’d saved her, the dark conclusion of her suffering from depression had been drawn. And then the brute that was Raphael also came into the picture, his behaviour wildly unexpected as he was suddenly in a hurry to see her again and looked more like a broken puppy than the bully he’d been.  
Confusing. All of that was very confusing. And that was why they were now all reunited in the middle of the lair, cross legged with their phones in their hands.  
« I refuse to let that happen. »  
Mikey’s pout was met with shared understanding of his feelings, and Donatello spoke next.  
« I agree. It seems like she hasn’t been able to properly take care of herself lately, and as her friend, I will not let that happen.»  
« So we strike. Tonight. »  
All eyes turned on Leonardo’s determined face.  
« One team will follow her after work to make sure she’s going the right way. The other will make sure that the place she’s staying at is empty, so that you- »  
He pointed a calloused finger at Raphael.  
« Can go and discuss whatever it is that you want to talk about with her. But this time we’ll be watching, and as soon as you’re done, you signal it to us and we’ll come have a word with her too. If anything happens, you all know the signal. We’ll retreat behind the water tower on top of the building behind hers. »  
Everyone nodded at the instructions, albeit Raphael seemed to be a little more reluctant to be forced to follow orders once again, but the light shining in his eyes informed everyone that he knew what he was going to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters belong to their rightful owners, Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, and the Main Character belongs to you!


	8. Another update

Hi everyone (¬_¬ )

So, I'm aware that it has been a while since I last uploaded (5 months... yikes).

I could go ahead and say that it has been because of stress, exams, the confinement, only courses in my last year of licence, my birthday in the middle of the corona crisis...  
But no, it was just a complete lack of motivation and inspiration.  
...  
...  
...  
(シ_ _)シ I am so terribly sorry.

Since I hate stories that are on an infinite hiatus and that I wouldn't want to be what I hate, I've decided to finish this story by the end of May!

For now I am working on the 7th/8th chapter (I've lost count hahaha!) and I will publish it tomorrow. I can predict that this story will last about 3 more chapters before it ends, so stay tuned, and please find it in yourself to forgive me for taking so much time!!!

With much love, and my prayers that you're all safe and sound in your confinement spot,

CatCommanderCactus.

┬┴┬┴┤(･_├┬┴┬┴

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters belong to their rightful owners, Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, and the Main Character belongs to you!


	9. Stonewalled Exposition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiii....  
Guess who’s back? Back again?  
So, what have I been up to that took me so long and that made me not respect my promise?  
Well. After getting my English degree through a very stressful and delayed exam period, I started realizing that I didn’t have any plans for the upcoming year. Weeks passed by as I applied for as many programs as I could, and started giving up on my future, facing our good ol’ friend called Depression... when I was told that I had been chosen as a language assistant in the UK, in London. 700 kilometers from where I live in France.  
So, I had to move out in a rush from my parents’ home, deal with some Covid-like symptoms when I arrived, and try to not get too overwhelmed with work and the INSANE AMOUNT of paperwork.  
And now here we are! I am sincerely sorry for how long it took me to get this chapter, and for how long it took me to publish it.  
Many of you will have given up on it, and that’s fine. Those of you who stayed or will discover it in the future? Hiii, and welcome back.  
I cannot state how much all of your kind messages and encouraging words have been beneficial to me, but please do not that: Your words are empowering and carry with them enough motivation for someone who had almost given up like me to get back on this. I love y’all.
> 
> Get yourself some tea, coffe, or hot cocoa, biscuits, snacks, and chocolate. Make yourself comfy, and prepare for the feelings.  
And yes, this sorry will have an ending! （πーπ）
> 
> As always, DISCLAIMER: This story contains VIOLENCE, NON-CON RAPE, ANGST and SEVERE INJURIES. Please proceed with caution.

The walk back "home" through Lower Manhattan was always a very pleasant one for you. Even if your friend Melissa lived in Soho, you preferred to use your feet to stroll through the Washington Square Park and observe the tourists filling the place with languages you never understood and clothes you would have never imagined existed. Today you had decided to sit in the same spot on the main water fountain as the character Jenny did in the movie "Someone Great" - the fact that you had watched the movie the night before did not correlate whatsoever with your actual placement - and waited for the hot tea in your hands to warm up your freezing hands.  
Your thoughts wandered to the flat you had seen, the one in Greenwich Village. It was very open, with almost no doors to the place and a bedroom that had a view on the entirety of the flat, which would help in spotting intruders in the future. The bathroom was tiny, and so was the living room, but you lived alone and that was enough for you to feel comfortable in it so you didn't mind. You would just have to buy paint for it as one wall in the kitchen was red, and you had trouble associating this color anything other than a certain living terrapin.  
Your eyes looked up when the streetlights turned on and your blood froze in your veins. You had been daydreaming for far too long and dusk was now settling in over the busy streets of the capital - it was far too late for your traumatized self to be outside, so you dumped your empty cup holder in a trashcan nearby and hurried through the still busied streets, unable to shake the nasty feeling of eyes on you.  
.  
.  
.  
"Guys she's finally moving."  
"Roger that."  
Green and golden eyes followed your small form as you snaked through the crowds with the agility of someone used to living in masses, and you tightened your coat around your body in a vain attempt to feel more secure. His heart suffered from a painful throb. You were obviously still highly aware of your surroundings and of the dangers that could get to you, and he had made it worst by attacking you two weeks ago. Yes, you looked better on a physical plane and seemed to have regained a normal weight, but the fear in your eyes was everpresent.  
"Raph, move it."  
He shook his regrets away for the moment and jumped from one building to another while hiding from the public eye behind chimneys and billboards. Your trek home was a short one, about fifteen minutes of speed walking, and he and Michelangelo made sure to always keep you in their sights until you safely engulfed yourself into the apartment lot. Two minutes later, you were unlocking the door to the flat you were momentarily living in and headed straight to the bathroom with a change of clothes you picked up from a duffel bag on the floor. You got out in what Raphael instantly recognized as comfort clothes: an oversized hoodie with old traces and paint splatters on it, leggings, and fluffy socks over them. Something large to cover yourself, but also tight enough to give you the feeling of being embraced, and with a soft cloud all around your feet to ensure maximum comfortability.  
"The flat is clean, you're good to go Raph. We have three hours maximum before her colleague comes back with her boyfriend from the movies and dinner. Take your time but leave us at least an hour to talk to her."  
Donatello's words made the pressure on his shoulders intensify but he brushed it aside with a huff and started going down the apartment building.  
There, a window large enough to hop onto and make himself visible to her without alerting neighbors - he went for it and knocked on the glass, watching you jump from your couch in fright and hold the TV remote you'd be holding in the air like a weapon. He almost snickered.

You on the other hand were no laughing matter. You had expected anything and anyone but the red-wearing turtle to come knocking at your window in a place you thought was secure, and honestly you weren't sure if you were ready to see him just now.  
But you knew that he was putting himself in danger and despite the warning bells ringing in your head, you decided to open the window, sweating and slightly panting all the way there. As soon as you twisted the handle he slowly pushed it open to get inside and you ran for your taser that was in your coat's pocket. He watched you do so with bitterness and anger gnawing at his heart but didn't say anything until you were at a healthy distance away from his towering form with the self-defense tool secure in your hands. Silence stretched itself and he wasn't quite sure what to say. Hello? Sorry? He thought that he had known what to say exactly, but it turned out that his intentions were the only things that were clear enough in his mind, and watching you cowering from him made him insecure about the result of this interaction.  
"What do you want?"  
Finally you broke the awkwardness by defying him to spill the truth and he almost sneered at you, but swallowed it down with calming thoughts. Now was not the time to get mad at you, nor was it a reasonable and reasoned decision.  
"I want to talk to you. I won't come closer, I promise.  
-How can I know you're telling the truth?"  
He slowly sat down under the window with his shell against the wall and crossed his legs. Soon, his kunai were put in front of him and out of his reach.  
You wanted to believe it, that it would be safe this time, but every time you'd interacted with him lately it had ended in trauma for you and you did not want to retaliate, so you stayed in the distance and kept the taser in your hand.  
"Talk."  
He took in a deep calming breath, and then started talking.  
.  
.  
.  
"So you're telling me...  
-That I never really wanted to hurt you. I know, I wouldn't buy it either if I were you, but I was scared of your judgment, and your fear."  
He'd offered you the same speech as he had given Splinter, without adding the part about his suspiciously romantic feelings for you. Just the truth about why he'd treated you with a roughness that was exclusive to your being, the vision he'd had of himself being a monster in your eyes, the pain of your convictions, the maddening fear when he had seen you down on the pavement, the hatred for the rapist, the knowledge that you would be happy without him in your life. When he finished his speech, he let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding in and met your eyes with the open mind of somehow who had nothing on his case anymore.  
You pinched the bridge of your nose while battling for the headache that you knew would be burning your brain in a few moments.  
"This... You do realize how it sounds, right?"  
"Yeah. I know I sound like a brat. And a monster. And-"  
"Raphael."  
His name coming from your lips with a tone that could not be described as anything but severe made his soul jump a little - and he hated and loved the feeling of your control over his emotions, even if it was unbesnown to you.  
"This is all... a lot... to take in. But you are not... I...."  
You were at loss for words.  
"I don't... I don't know what to say. I can't forgive you, even if you would like me to. Not now."  
It was not a promise for the future, and it hurt, and it angered him. But it was far better than what he had expected from you, even without his deepest feelings being entirely revealed.  
"But I... I get the misunderstanding."  
"You do?"  
He hadn't meant to sound so surprised and suspicious, and almost cowered when you glared at him a little.  
"Yes, Raphael. I am not just a completely insensitive idiot, I can see that you're being honest even if I don't know to tell you. I'm starting to know you."  
That part had sounded softer than you had possible intended. An uncomfortably tense silence filled in the room afterwards and you eyed him a few times which almost made him growl at you so you could finally tell him what was on your mind. But patience was a virtue and he was the proud son of his Sensei, so he would wait.  
"...Do you- Are your brothers here?"  
He had not expected that question, and disappointment reached for him like the snickering snake of fate. It didn't matter what he felt, though.  
"Yeah. They're just watching for your friends so I wouldn't get caught with you."  
It was only when you moved towards a window that he noticed a few things about you, after about an hour of him talking and you squinting your eyes; You had lowered your taser and dropped the weapon into the belly pocket of your hoodie, and your shoulders looked visibly relaxed. Even your face, who had beared your furrowed eyebrows at first, seemed to be back on a natural looking expression. You felt a bit more safe.  
"Oh- I see them. Can you... I... "  
You seemed unsure for a second or two, and he took this chance to throw a shot in the dark.  
"They'd like to see you."  
Silence again, and then a sigh.  
"I'll... I will go make... hot cocoa. Can you ask them to come?"

.

Ps: Here is the flat mentioned:

https://streeteasy.com/building/149-west-4-street-new_york/5a?featured=1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters belong to their rightful owners, Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, and the Main Character belongs to you!


	10. Relieved Breakdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends!
> 
> So it’s been about a month since I published the Oh so long awaited chapter I had managed to drag through more than half a year, and now I am back with a new one!  
A bit of progress is made, a cloud is passing by - but what will be left of our Reader when she emerges from this? And what will happen to her drift with Raphael?
> 
> As always, please feel free to comment any kind of feedback or constructive criticism you have, I am more than happy to read through them!!  
Stay safe and take care, the times are hard out there but literature and fiction will save us all y（^ヮ^）y
> 
> DISCLAIMER: This story contains VIOLENCE, NON-CON RAPE, ANGST and SEVERE INJURIES. Please proceed with caution.

"Sweetcheeks!!"  
The green and orange mass that fell on you was more than you had anticipated, and the weight of one fully grown man (And a half, shell included) made you topple over on your couch as Michelangelo rubbed his cheeks on yours. You stifled your laughter and gently pushed him away when you felt like it was getting too much for your poor muscles, but you couldn't help the weak smile that blossomed on your lips when you saw a flash of his tail wagging from in between his shell and his large grey sweatpants.  
"I missed you so much!!"  
"I missed you too Mickey."  
"No, you didn't. You've been ghosting us for weeks."  
You visibly winced at the prospect and everyone seemed to notice it because a very heavy silence fell on the room.  
Raphael had been the one to exit the room and maintain surveillance on the area while everyone got inside the thankfully large apartment, but apart from Mickey's typical joyfulness, no one had dared to say or do anything other than blur out a few awkward "hey"s and "sorry for the mess"s.  
"I made... hot cocoa."  
It was pretty obvious considering the five steaming mugs on the coffee table that currently separated you from the guests, but they nodded nonetheless and all took one. All except for Casey.  
"Ah, sorry Casey, I thought it was just the turtles and April... I know you don't like chocolate that much."  
The man shook his dark-haired head with a smile and shrugged while shoving his hands in his black jeans' pockets.  
"Is' alright, don'tchu worry your pretty head 'bout it."

Eventually, everyone found their space in the flat, whether by sitting on the couch, on the floor or by leaning against a wall, and the silence took place once more. They looked ready to hear you talk, but there was an air of patience and understanding in their eyes that you hadn't expected. There was no hatred, no hurt feelings, nothing but friendliness and peace as they all waited for you to feel at ease.  
And so then, all of a sudden, you felt yourself break down into a heavy sob that built itself from your heart and arose to your throat, greatly surprising your guests.  
"I-I'm so sorry guys, I-I... I have been so ungrateful, and I- And I was so scared... I have... I..."  
Mickey was the first to rush by your sides - almost dropping his drink in the process - and was soon joined by Donnie and April. Leo and Casey stayed on the side, clearly uncomfortable with the idea of physical touch but obviously caring too.  
"Nooo no no, don't cry sweetcheeks, it's okay!"  
"No it's not, I-I have been ignoring all of you for so long, and, and-"  
"We understand-"  
"No you don't! You can't, because I- I never gave you guys a reason why, and you all saved me when I was in danger, and I never thanked for it, and- and I have been doing so bad but I don't know how to say it, and these voices in my head keep on telling me things I don't want to hear, and, and I have been trying out to move out because I can't bear being in that old flat anymore, I don't feel safe-"  
You continued rambling about how badly you felt to the point where you somehow ended up on the couch, sniffling and sobbing and gross crying while a gentle hand was rubbing your back and another was holding one of your hands. You truly had great friends, didn't you? And you had been ignoring them for so long, practically feeding yourself off of the negativity that surrounded you like a bubble you could never pierce.  
.  
.  
.  
"_____?"  
The worried voice that echoed through the air made your eyes startle awake. It took you a few seconds of your head spinning and the surroundings brightening to register that you had been lying down on your couch, all lights in the flat turned off and your eyelids feely puffier than ever.  
"Oh honey, have you been crying? Oh I'm so sorry, we should have never gone out for so long!"  
Your colleague's voice seemed to finally reach the functioning parts of your brain, and you patted at your face with incomprehension blurring your senses.  
The last thing you remembered was eventually calming down from your emotional breakdown. But someone had obviously tucked you in, judging by the unfolded plaid you had now noticed by your sides, and the coffee table was clean of any mugs that now probably resided in the dishwasher you could hear running in the background. The windows were closed, the floor deserted of any three-toed footprints, and the nice soothing smell of a vanilla candle offered the place a sense of renewal and cleanliness.  
"And you even did the chores, oh... _____... Come here, you look like you need a hug. Wanna talk about it?"  
Strangely enough, you felt like you'd already reached your hug quota for the day, but you accepted the gesture anyway and simply shook your head at her discussion proposal. Your inner bag had been emptied after all. You jerked your head to the side to pretend to hide your red face, but suddenly came into your view your duffel bag on the other side of the room, and in it you noticed a paper sticking out with very familiar handwriting.  
Reading it a few minutes later - when you had finally discarded your comfort after-work clothes and taken your daily "after work" compulsory shower - made a smile somehow reach your tired eyes.  
"Hey sweetcheeks!", it said first. Michelangelo.  
"You done and passed out on us when you stopped crying, so we took care of the cleaning! For you! We re amazing right?"  
A little wonky smiley was leisurely drawn at the end of the sentence - you allowed yourself a little huffed out chuckle, and tried not to focus on the places where he gripped the pen so hard ink came out in dark spots and ruined some words.  
"Try to text us again when you wake up yeah? We really missed you :'("  
Your heart throbbed a little, but only with regrets for the weeks passed in silence and away from them. And then you noticed that the handwriting fused into something more elegant, quite like calligraphy, and then into a straight jitter that reminded you of your doctor's notes.  
"Mickey is right, you ought to text us from now on. We will help you move out, of course, it is the least we can do to honor the pledge we swore to protect you. Take care."  
Leonardo.  
"AND take the pills I put in your left bag pocket. They are vitamins I made a few days ago which are packed with nutrients, Vitamin D and B12, and which hold a value of 23 kilocalories per bite and 0 grams of sugar and salt, so you can take 5 or 6 on the daily basis and without suffering any endangering weight gain. Email me if you do though, okay? With all the details of course."  
Donatello. Oh, and...  
"Hi"  
Raphael.  
"Look I dont think I said everything I had to say but I didnt have the time and my bros are telling me to hurry up  
I just want u to know that I agree with all they said and that Im sorry again  
Im not good with words but Ill try for u and say this: I dont ever wanna see u suffer again and Ill be here for u from now on but from far away because I know I scare u  
So Ill do my best to stick to that k? Bros r calling so gotta go  
Well see you around I hope”  
You bite down on your lower lip. The man's handwriting and grammar is atrocious to read on top of the complete lack of punctuation, but you can see the effort and thoughtfulness of his words, and you can't lie to yourself by pretending you aren't extremely touched by the intentions.  
But some part of you still aches. You thought you wanted him away from you forever and to never see him ever again - but now that you have come to witness how he managed to misunderstand everything, and how you only stood by and made it worse, you don't want to tell yourself that this is how your relationship with him ends.  
Everything in the right time first, you remind yourself as you dry your moist hair with a towel in the foggy bathroom.  
You have to apologize nicely, through texts if necessary, and then you have to move out and get back to your original self. And then, maybe, just maybe, you'll tell him the story from your point of view.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters belong to their rightful owners, Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird, and the Main Character belongs to you!

**Author's Note:**

> All characters belong to their rightful owners, Kevin Eastman and Peter Laid, and the Main Character belongs to you!


End file.
